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God’s love doesn’t always look like the absence of pain, but the presence of grace.
Some weekends change you. Not with fanfare or fireworks, but with quiet, holy weight. We had the honor of hosting our very first guests at our ministry leaders retreat home, a place set apart for rest, restoration, and revival. They arrived as strangers, yet by the end of the weekend, they felt like family.
That’s one of the mysteries of the body of Christ: how quickly hearts can knit together, how deeply you can love people you’ve only just met. When Jesus is at the center, the connection is instant, and the love is real. You find yourself laughing with people who just hours ago were new to you and crying with them too. Because somehow, you recognize something familiar in one another’s pain, even when the stories aren’t the same.
I can’t tell you the full story of the family who came. It’s not mine to tell. What I can say is this: they have walked through the kind of loss most of us pray we never have to face. A moment that changed everything. A tragedy wrapped in layers of love, confusion, and grief. And yet, in their voices and their eyes, I saw something I didn’t expect…peace. Not the kind that comes from having answers, but the kind that comes only from knowing Jesus is still good, even when life is not.
They didn’t come with bitterness. They came with remembrance. With tears and tenderness and testimony. They’ve made it a rhythm of life to mark the days they can’t forget by stepping away to make space for the Lord to meet them in the grief. And He does. Not always with ease, but always with presence. Their visits echo what many pastors and ministry leaders seek on sabbatical: time and space to meet God again in the quiet.
One of the most humbling things I witnessed was their posture of forgiveness. If you’ve ever been hurt by someone you loved or trusted, you know how impossible forgiveness can feel. Multiply that by unimaginable pain and then watch what God can do. It’s not quick. It’s not painless. But it is possible. And only through Him.
I used to think forgiveness meant saying, “It’s okay.” But some things aren’t okay. Forgiveness, I’m learning, isn’t pretending the wound wasn’t deep. It’s entrusting the wound to the only One who can carry it fully. It’s letting Jesus be both judge and healer. It’s saying, “Lord, I can’t, but You can.” And He does.
Their story reminded me that redemption doesn’t erase suffering, it walks with it. God’s love doesn’t always look like the absence of pain, but the presence of grace. The kind of grace that gives you strength to wake up on the hardest anniversaries and lets you celebrate a birthday that won’t be celebrated on earth again. God can open your heart to love again, even when loving feels risky.
While these families were onsite, we prayed together, and I was undone by the sacredness of that moment. The porch felt full, not just of people, but of God’s mercy. It’s the kind of moment that lingers long after they drive away down our long dirt road. These are the kinds of sacred moments we pray for in our sabbatical retreat home for pastors and Christian leaders, where the Spirit brings rest to weary hearts and revives dry bones.
To those walking through grief right now, especially the kind you can’t explain, please know you’re not alone. God sees. He weeps with you. And He can hold what feels unholdable. You don’t have to fake joy to find hope. You can carry sorrow and still walk with the Savior.
And to the one struggling to forgive…take heart. Forgiveness doesn’t come from digging deep within yourself. It comes from surrendering to the One who forgave us first.
This weekend was a holy reminder: healing doesn’t erase the hurt, but it can redeem it. And love, real, Christ-centered love, can flourish even in the soil of sorrow.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22–23
Tools for Grief and Forgiveness
If you’re walking through grief or wrestling with forgiveness, here are a few tools to help you move forward in faith:
Grief: Walking with God Through Loss
- Lament honestly. God invites you to pour out your pain to Him (Psalm 62:8, Lamentations 2:19).
- Anchor in truth. When emotions overwhelm, speak Scripture aloud, truth doesn’t change when feelings do (Psalm 119:50).
- Grieve in community. God created the Church to help bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).
- Make space to remember. Set intentional time to reflect and remember with the Lord He honors our memories.
Forgiveness: Not Forgetting, But Freeing
- Understand forgiveness biblically. Forgiveness is not condoning sin or forgetting pain. It’s entrusting justice to God (Romans 12:19).
- Pray for your heart to be softened. Even if you can’t forgive yet, ask God to begin the work in you (Ezekiel 36:26).
- Let forgiveness be a process, not a performance. Forgiveness may begin with obedience before emotion.
- Keep your eyes on Christ. Remember how much we’ve been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13). Our ability to forgive flows from His mercy.
You are not alone. Jesus is near to the brokenhearted and mighty to heal.
Thank you so much for sharing your time with us. Cedar Creek Ministries is funded by Christians and churches who believe in the call to offer our leaders the double portion! If you feel the desire to make sure all those men and women called to serve God in missions and ministry have everything they need to personally rest, restore family relationships, and revive ministry vision, consider joining us in regular prayer and financial support!
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This post was written by Nickole Perry, co-founder and Director of Operations at Cedar Creek Ministries.
