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Standing talking with a group of women all the sudden someone says something unfavorable that is non of my business. Ugh...it's the worst. I hate it.  Maybe it's the other more subtle kind of gossip that started as a regular conversation and now has taken a turn down a bad direction and you are in the throws of gossip without realizing and now don't know what to do. Oh or even worse maybe you said something you shouldn't have and now the conversation has gone in a direction of speaking unfavorably about people or just sharing things that aren't your business to share. What do you do?!!?  Here are a few ways of escape to help in any of these situations. 

1. The Bold Way: 

 "This conversation has taken a turn and I don't think we are honoring God anymore. Let's
change topics please." 

"That sounded a bit like gossip. Let's not go there."

"I'm not sure this is any of our business. I don't want to hear these things."

2. The Nice Way: 

Just fight fire with water. When someone says something ugly about a person you think of something nice to say or push for giving them the benefit of the doubt in the situation.

3. Flight Mode: 

I know some people are very uncomfortable with any sort of confrontation or any possibility of confrontation. I understand this though and though it's not generally my personality I've done this before. Just excuse yourself. There are a few people who over the years I've often had to excuse myself from and they usually get the picture at some point. 

I feel like this post needs a cliff note. Christians LOVE to pendulum swing on issues and be very extreme one way or the other. I had a friend once who really struggled (this is my opinion) with seeking wise counsel because she always thought if she brought another person into the conversation it was gossip. Gossip is when you are speaking about another persons affairs that have nothing to do with you, not your own. This, I find is a particular struggle with parents. We think we have a right to discuss the private matters of our children because they are our children. This is particularly horrifying, I find, with parents of adult children. 

A side note to the gossips out there: We see you and we don't trust you one bit. We know our secrets are not safe with you. We love you and pray about if the time will be right to rebuke you in your unbiblical habit. 

A note to us all:

We have all been guilty of gossip at one time or another. Asking for forgiveness from those you spoke to about someone else is always the best course of action. When we are unsure if we should speak something about another person, consider just being quiet. If you have caused a big ruffle or division in your church, please make a list of those you need to seek forgiveness from and get to seeking. 

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This post was written by Nickole Perry, co-founder and Director of Operations at Cedar Creek Ministries. 

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